Remember Everything
by Siancore
Summary: Richonne. Prison era. How I imagine Rick and Michonne would have grown close by sharing nightly conversations about their memories, fears, worries and hopes.


A/N: So, I watched S5x2 "Strangers" (stop reading this note if you have yet to watch) and I'm not sure how I feel. I liked that Richonne had a moment where they were talking, laughing and smiling. I was a little bummed that it took that long for Rick to ask her about how she'd gotten so good with her sword because I always imagined them talking about things like that. But hey, it was great that they were in so many scenes together and were throwing each other glances. Gah! You found a preacher, just hurry up and get married! Okay, I'll stop…

This takes place after Rick, Michonne and Carl return from the run in S3x12 and progresses from there. Richonne focus, of course, because I love them! How I imagine they would have grown close by sharing nightly conversations about their fricken feelings! I think I'm having a Richonne overload; I'm bedridden and have read every Richonne fic update I can get my hands on, and just want to keep writing, but I should go to sleep because I feel like I've inundated everyone with my fics this weekend…Enjoy!

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><p>Warning: Adult situations.<p>

"Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it."

-Michel de Montaigne

xXx

Part 1: _If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain? 'Cause I remember everything…_

The night skies at the end of the world seemed impossibly dark, save for the radiant stars that only proved to shine brighter against the obsidian backdrop of the heavens. Michonne was briefly lost in the moment as she marveled at just how beautiful the seemingly tiny speckles were. It had been a long time since she was in a safe place where she had the luxury of stargazing; but life at the prison was safe, for now. She had taken the opportunity to steal away from the rest of the group for a while. Having returned from the run with their leader and his son earlier in the day, she needed some time to herself and just outside of the prison door was as good a place as any for one to clear their mind of whatever unwelcome thoughts were haunting them.

The unnatural sounds of the heavy metallic door intruded on and offended the calm serenity as Michonne squinted to focus her gaze; it was Rick Grimes. She remained quiet as he used the flashlight to scan the immediate area. Once his eyes fell upon her form, he extinguished the light and walked slowly down the steps and ambled over to where she was sitting. Rick wordlessly sat beside her, not too closely, but close enough to converse in hushed tones.

"Hey." He started. "Can we talk?"

Michonne nodded before offering him a soft "Yes."

"I didn't get the chance earlier to say thanks." He offered slowly.

"For what?" She questioned, surprised that he was actually treating her like she was a human being.

"For doin' what you did for Carl, helpin' him out today. You didn't have to, especially after the way he treated you. How _we_ treated you. It was kind of you. So, thanks." Rick said in earnest.

"It's fine, I wanted to help; he seems like a good kid, underneath it all." Was her response.

Rick nodded; "He is a good kid, just doin' it tough right now; we're all doin' it a little tough, though. Sometimes we say or do things we normally wouldn't."

It became quiet again as they both reflected on all of the unfortunate and horrific events that had occurred in the relatively short amount of time.

"Can I ask you somethin?" Rick queried.

Michonne was not the most sharing individual as it took a lot for her to trust people; to open up to them. She considered saying no, but resigned herself to the fact that if Rick was going to ask her something that she was not ready to answer, that she would say nothing at all.

"Yeah, but I can't promise I'll answer." Came her honest response.

Rick could appreciate that, at least she was straightforward. He took a deep breath before continuing to speak.

"Today, what you said to me, about knowin' that I see things?" He started. "How did you know?"

Michonne looked to Rick then stared back into the darkened distance before answering.

"I dunno. Figure I'm good at readin' people. I saw you, in the yard a few times. I recognized the look. You were chasin' ghosts and I…" She faltered slightly. "I guess I just know what that feels like."

Silence pervaded once more; Rick considered what Michonne was telling him. Maybe there was more between them than just _common interests_, he wondered. Maybe she really was one of them, as his son had suggested; maybe they could be friends.

"I have to apologize to you, for how I've acted towards you. I'm fuckin' pissed off at the situation we're in, pissed at myself for bein' a shitty leader and I took it out on you. I'm sorry, and it won't happen again."

With that, Rick stood and walked back inside. Michonne sat a little stunned; she could tell why Rick had behaved the way he had with her. He was frantic and unstable; but at least it was real, not a subterfuge or front like she had witnessed at Woodbury. She knew the people at the prison were good; that he was innately good. He could come back, she knew he could. She had fought her way back from the heartbreak, melancholy and insanity. She could see the anguish in his eyes that mirrored her own; there was hope for him yet.

xXx

Several weeks had passed, the prison and survivors were recovering from the Governor's failed attack and they were taking in other newcomers; it was a hive of activity. Summer had returned and Rick filled out the hot days growing food for his group. His warm nights were usually spent sitting outside talking to Michonne. He realized quickly, after they had spoken about his secret torment and hallucinations, that some way, somehow, she understood him. He would seek her out, just to talk and have her listen; and sometimes, she would do the same with him. Although he had stopped chasing ghosts, as Michonne so aptly worded it, there was still the fear that if he suffered another loss, his mind would crack again, and this time beyond repair. Rick had come back from the brink, like she knew he would, but he still had some distance to go.

Michonne had been gone on her mission to find the Governor for almost two weeks. Carl was brooding and sulky in her absence and Rick could scarcely process how much he himself was missing their nightly conversations; how much he was missing _her. _There was really no way to know for certain that she was alright. It was mainly a matter of waiting for Michonne to ride through the gate and return home.

"Carl, where's the slop bucket?" Rick asked, looking for the pail that contained scraps of food for the pigs.

The boy did not answer his father, he absentmindedly continued to strike at the same patch of dirt with the pitchfork.

"Carl?" He said, somewhat louder than before.

"This is stupid! Why are we here worrying about feeding the pigs when Michonne's out there by herself? We should be looking for her, Dad!" The boy cried.

Rick ceased his search and glanced at his son.

"Firstly, this ain't stupid, son. We need food. Secondly, Michonne's tough, she'll be fine. Any day now, she'll come back."

Rick sounded like he did not have belief in his own words; he sounded tired and worried, even more so than usual.

"You don't believe that. No way! If you did we wouldn't be out here busting our asses to keep from thinkin' about her! She's our friend, Dad and we're not even doin' anything to help her. She could be dead for all we know!" Carl yelled, clearly frustrated.

"Son, I know you're upset right now, but it just can't be helped. This is how it has to be, this is what Michonne has to do." Rick offered before Carl interjected.

"Yeah, but she doesn't have to do it alone!" He said, his voice cracking slightly as he threw the pitchfork to the ground and stormed off.

"Carl! Hey! Get back here!" Rick called after his son, but the boy did not stop.

"Fuck!" Rick cursed as he pinched the bridge of his nose before watching Carl run away.

xXx

It would prove to be another day before Michonne came home; Carl was still not speaking to Rick and Rick, it seemed, was not speaking to anyone. When Michonne had come through the gates on horseback, to be greeted by a relieved and elated Carl, Rick was inside of the prison building fetching some kind of implement or another that he required for his duties. Michonne let Maggie take care of her horse Flame and walked back toward the building with a smiling Carl. When Rick saw them, he felt a wave of relief encompass him as he jogged down to meet them. Without thinking, he tossed the tool to the ground, stepped towards Michonne and embraced her tightly, wrapping his arms about her waist and drawing her near. At first she went rigid at the contact, but then fell comfortably into the hug. She had to pull away from Rick after it seemed he was not going to relinquish his hold on her.

"Please, Rick; I must smell terrible." She offered as an excuse for stepping out of his grip. .

"It's okay, I smell like horse and pig shit." He laughed, his expression softening.

"I'm just glad to see you." He said truthfully.

"I'm glad to see you too." She responded. "But I've really gotta get to the showers and grab somethin' to eat."

Rick nodded in understanding.

"Talk later?" He asked her as he began to walk back down to the garden area.

"You got it." She said as she and Carl walked away happily.

xXx

Michonne took note of the evening sky; it was cloudy and yet every so often, she would catch a glimpse of the stars when there was a slight gap in the shroud that hid them away. The night felt warm and almost muggy, save for a small breeze that had picked up. The prison was quiet as most of its inhabitants were asleep in the late night, or early morning hours, whichever way one regarded it. Michonne had tried to sleep, but her mind and body were restless; she did not bother to change from her sleeping attire but instead went out into the night and sat close to the outside dining area and waited. She knew it was almost time for the watch changeover; as soon as one of the others came out and made their way to the guard tower, Rick would be finished his watch duties for the night. After she had showered earlier in the day, Michonne wearily collapsed to her bunk and slept right up until mealtime; by then Rick had already taken watch and she had missed the chance to speak with him and had every intention of making up for it now.

The familiar sound of the metal door swinging open caused Michonne to jump as she was lost in thought. Sasha stepped out and greeted her warmly.

"Hey, can't sleep, uh? It's so muggy, hope we get that rain soon." Said Sasha as she stopped a moment before going to relieve Rick.

"Just waitin' to catch Rick." She said as a flash of lightning followed a small thunderous roll. "Looks like rain's comin'."

"I'll go swap with him now, won't keep you out here much longer or you'll be caught in it." Sasha offered as she headed in the direction of the tower.

Michonne did not mind the rain; even now, there was some kind of catharsis she felt in a downpour. Although, presently, listening to the rolling thunder, there seemed to be an ominous mood that set in. By the time Rick had approached her, the lightning, though hidden behind the clouds, had become increasingly frequent and the thunder persisted. The night air was now thick and there was an almost electric charge to it; Michonne thought the ambience felt odd, yet strangely enticing.

"Walk with me?"

Was all Rick said to her, and she stood immediately to follow him. They strolled in silence down to the garden plot where Rick needed to retrieve his pair of gloves in case they were ruined by the impending storm. He stopped and looked to the sky, then to Michonne. He smiled almost sadly at her before speaking.

"Are you okay? Nothin' bad happened out there?" He questioned, sincere in his concern.

"I'm fine. I got close to finding him, but lost his trail and a sense of time. How long was I gone? Carl said two weeks." She asked, truly uncertain of the time that passed.

"Yeah, was about two weeks. Carl was bein' an unbearable little shit the whole time 'cause he missed you." Rick said, sounding tired as he placed the gloves in his front jeans pocket.

"Sorry. I know he gives you hell sometimes." She offered.

"It's like he blames me for everything." Rick sighed and Michonne listened, knowing he really wanted to talk to get things off his chest.

"Even now, after we've got some stability, ya know, he still finds somethin' to fuckin' argue with me about. He can't see the bigger picture of what I'm tryin' to do here. I want everyone to be safe; I want him to have a decent life, if it's possible; I don't wanna lose him, lose who he was, who he is."

Rick went quiet as Michonne nodded in understanding.

"God, sometimes he looks at me the way his mother did; with all that disappointment. Like I wasn't doin' everything I could for them; like I was never good enough. They resented me for not being there when the world went to shit; then after, when I wanted to help other people; then when Shane died, they looked at me like it was all my fault when all I tried to do was keep them safe; keep everyone safe. All I want to do is protect the people I care about."

He looked at her now before continuing.

"He went off at me today over you."

"What do you mean?" She asked a little taken aback.

"Basically said I should've been helpin' you search and not tendin' to this lot." Rick then gestured to the vegetables he had been growing. "Maybe he's right."

"No." She said, as she stepped closer. "You've done so much for everyone already. I know it weighs on you all the time, the responsibility; people lookin' to you for answers. That's why I never asked you to come with me. You've got too much to do here; you've got your kids, and the people who follow you. You deserve a break. You've done enough."

"It's never enough, though is it?" Rick said quietly.

"It's more than enough, Rick. God, there are people out there who don't give a shit about protecting people they're supposed to care about. I know this for a fact. But you do. You, more than any man I've known. Don't doubt yourself, not now. Take the time that you need." She offered firmly.

Rick wondered about the people she had known before she had found them; even before Andrea. He knew someone had hurt her deeply, he could see it in her sad yet beautiful eyes; eyes that drew him closer to her. He wondered who it was and what had happened. What had caused her to stare in the face of madness like he had; what profound loss Michonne had suffered. They remained silent for a while longer before he spoke again.

"I don't know if I have the luxury of time, none of us do, really; but sometimes I feel like, with everything weighin' me down, that I might not be able to keep my head straight. Know what I mean?"

Michonne nodded because she did indeed understand how fragile the mind could be in this world. How dwelling on the past, on the regrets did nothing but drag you down. She listened to Rick clearing his mind.

"Especially when the bad memories and dreams come back; it's like knowing a storm is comin' and I fight with everything that's in me to hold back that rain. I have to, I've got people dependin' on me." He said in earnest.

"It's been good lately, Rick. You've been good, yeah?" She asked, concerned that he may have slipped back in to battling old demons.

"Yeah." was his reply before continuing. "It's just when my kid looks at me like I've fucked up, just brings back all of my regrets."

"But things are good now, for the first time in a long time; that has a lot to do with you, who you are and what you've done."

Michonne tried to offer some solace to Rick, knowing that his regret was one of the things that caused him the most pain. He regretted not being able to save his wife, killing his best friend, hurting countless others, herself included. It ate away at him when he let it consume his thoughts.

"But if somethin' else bad were to happen, I don't know how I'd handle it. These past weeks, not knowing if you were safe, it was driving me crazy; I was so worried I'd never see you again. The kid was pissed and missing you, I was pissed and missing you; but it could've been worse, if you didn't come back."

Rick said, almost shyly; he realized he was admitting more about his feelings for Michonne than he had meant to.

"If something happened to you, Carl would blame me; Hell, I'd blame myself."

Rick said, stepping closer in front of Michonne as the a few droplets of rain fell on them. Michonne's face grew warm as the mood of the conversation shifted when Rick closed the distance between them. The light pattering of rain gave her a little comfort in her flustered state. She recovered quickly.

"Nothing happened to me, Rick. You don't have to worry, I'm here now." She whispered.

The few droplets began to increase then turned into heavy rainfall as they both quickly became drenched; neither cared about the rain as they were completely engrossed in the moment. Rick's shirt became soaked as the fabric clung tightly to his skin and his hair fell about his face. The raindrops danced over Michonne's bare arms and face but did little to cool the heat that had begun to radiate off of her skin at how close she was standing to Rick. Michonne reached her hands to him and moved his wet curls from his damp face. She stroked his beard gently before bringing her mouth to his in a gentle kiss. Rick responded by wrapping his arms about her waist and pulling her body close to his; he used his tongue to gain access to her mouth to deepen the kiss. Michonne threw her arms over his shoulders in an effort to get closer to him as he rubbed his hand over her back and wet clothing as she stood barefoot in the mud.

Michonne broke the kiss and let her hands come to rest on his chest before looking around, hearing the thunder overhead. She grabbed Rick's hand and carefully led him up the path from the garden. She almost slipped over from the mud, but Rick caught her around the waist just in time to stop her from falling; his hand inadvertently sliding up to her breast. He hesitantly let go of her and she continued to lead him by the hand to the outdoor dining area. As they reached area, Rick was a little surprised that Michonne did not lead him to the covered space, but instead to a table that was being weathered by the storm. Michonne sat atop the wet table and pulled Rick to her by his belt; she let her hands caress his drenched shoulders before drawing him into a kiss again. Michonne's nightshirt clung to her breasts and her hardened nipples were pronounced.

Rick ran his rough hand over her breast and felt a stirring in his pants at the feeling of her perfect body, completely drenched from the rain and pressed flush again him, her legs wrapped around his waist. He wanted to be closer and feel more of her so he withdrew from the kiss and unbuttoned his own shirt, before removing the soaked garment and placing it on the table behind Michonne. He then reached under her nightshirt and lifted it over her head, exposing her naked form to him. They allowed each other to explore their wet bodies with their hands, lips and tongues before Michonne moved to lay back on the table, wearing nothing but her panties that were now wet from both the rain and her arousal.

She motioned for Rick to follow, and he climbed onto the table and kneeled between her legs. Michonne quickly undid his belt buckle and zipper and reached her hand to take hold of his hardened length. His jeans were pulled down just enough to expose his behind and his erection, but were still stuck to his legs from the rain. Her wet hands slid up and down his shaft with ease as Rick let out an inaudible moan as her skilled fingers gripped him firmly and her thumb pressed lightly on his dripping tip.

He had to get her to cease her strokes or he would be spent before they even began. Rick removed Michonne's panties and absentmindedly placed them in his back pocket. He ran his thumb over her moistened lips, shifted in his position and brought his mouth down to her wet centre. He moaned as he dipped his tongue between her folds and tasted her womanhood; the heat of her opening clashed deliciously with the cool rain that continued to fall. Rick nibbled her sensitive nub, causing her to moan before tortuously and slowly using his tongue to lick the length of her slit in one movement.

He then shifted and brought his mouth back to hers; some raindrops that ran to the tip of nose and chin found their way into Michonne's mouth as she tasted herself on his lips and tongue. Rick held his length at her opening, gently rubbing his tip on her lips; she shifted slightly to offer him access and that was all the permission he needed. Rick entered Michonne and stopped suddenly, savoring in the sublime feeling; a feeling he had not felt for a long while. He thrust his hips tentatively and finally set a steady pace; Michonne wrapped her thighs around his waist and ran her fingers down his rain-soaked back, digging her nails into his flesh in the most delicious way.

She had offered herself to Rick in an effort to relieve his anxieties and help him to forget, for a brief interlude, the harshness of their reality. Michonne had offered and Rick had embraced the opportunity; he knowingly appreciated the gesture. Sometimes it was good to forget for a while when you remembered everything.

In that moment – the cool rain on his bare back, Michonne's soft warm skin pressed against his, her womanhood tightly enveloping his hardness – Rick let all of his regrets and worries fall away. In that moment, at that time, all he was focused on was the rhythm of both of their entwined bodies; nothing else, and it felt divine as they writhed in pleasure and the rain continued to shower them both as it washed away his doubts. When the morning came around, and the storm had blown over, Rick knew that the memory of what had happened between he and Michonne would still be fresh in his mind; the way she tasted and felt, would be a memory he would not want to forget.

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><p>AN: I'm going to write a couple more chapters, but I think this could stand alone either way. I hope you fellow Richonne shippers liked the hug upon her return (and everything else that followed lol).Thanks for reading; let me know what you think.

Oh, and I don't think Rick will be too worried about his gloves being ruined by the rain now!


End file.
